My views on the "Marital Rape Controversy"

There is an extremely heated debate in TOC (The Online Citizen) in regards to the topic of Marital Rape (because its not a crime in Singapore).

This below is my comment/reply to this issue:

My view is that the current problems we having is a direct result of our “modern thinking”, 1 wife ideology and philosophy abt equal rights, etc…

if we look back just a hundred years ago, our society is still in the state where the guy can have multiple wives and women mostly still remain as the maintainer of the household. This formulae had worked for the past 5000 years of Human history and in the last 100-200 years: we human beings decide that one guy should have only one wife and also woman should have more “freedom” and etc…

Not that i am against woman from studying, having a career and being successful , etc… (i got many female friends doing very well) ; but this alteration of the role of the female species disrupts the natural balance in human society.

Where males in the past get married and have kids during their teenage years, learn their trade from their father and elders, work and bring food back home; while the female also married in the teenage years, learn from their mother-in-law and learn how to take care of the family and raise the kids of the next generation. That was how it was is for the past 5000 years. And the concept of multiple wives holds fine, as the more successful a guy is, the more “wives” to kindda reward himself and more “offsprings” he would like to carry on his genes.

But now, as the western concept of 1 life partner came about, couples are now face with much greater limitations than before. Not to mention that we get married and learn abt responsibilities much later (used to be in teenage years remember?), the advent of woman “working habit” disrupted their biological duty of purely taking care of the family and rearing kids.

Yes, modern women will say they can deal with it, work and take care of kids: but ultimately, who is really teaching and taking care of the kids now? The granny? The maid? And like many young ppl now remember, they usually dun see their parents come home until they already fell asleep. And thus, the natural system of family bonding and inter-relationship is all messed up.

I crapped alot now, yes. But how it links to the Marital Rape?

If the woman truly loves the guy, and she had been waiting all day at home for the beloved husband to come home, what are the chances that she would reject sex when the husband wants it? (it might be the husband want to reject it because he might be too tired)

But in modern times, the women work too! So the woman come home shagged and no mood for sex; and the guy wants it? Then how?

Another thing abt Marital Rape is the way how the “rape” is conducted. If there is violence involved, then maybe we can call it rape or domestic violence. But its simply because the wife dun want but the husband insist, and then after they did it, she report to the police saying the husband raped her – then i think we need to rethink does it make any sense.

I personally believe that all the high divorce rate, relationship problems, etc… mostly is born from the fact that we had changed our society and social behaviour. Although the “old ways” might not be “perfect”, but at least you wouldn't hear abt oxymoronic things like marital rape.

And to make it even simpler and shorter: If the husband “rapes” you, just divorce him. Dun make such a big hoo-ha.